𝙳𝙾𝙶 𝙾𝙵 𝚆𝙰𝚁. — GARRUS VAKARIAN .    turianrebel‌ with  her ...

GARRUS VAKARIAN .    ^{turianrebel‌}

with  her  now  ,  locked  eyes  ,  and  it  becomes  all  too  apparent  that  his  body  ,  heavy  with  ache  ,  ruined  by  war  ,  cratered  by  rocketfire  ,  finds  a  new  sort  of  completeness  whenever  ashley  williams  is  near  .  how  can  he  possibly  explain  the  thoughts  and  panic  in  his  mind  upon  hearing  earth  was  attacked  ?  swarmed  with  reapers                      garrus  ,  USELESS  ,  was  forced  to  listen  and  fear  for  the  lives  of  those  he  cared  about  .  ash  .  shepard  .  barely  sleeping  ,  wrought  with  worry  ,  a  turian  ,  pacing  for  hours  amid  the  battlefields  of  menae  .  all  of  it  culminates  to  here  and  now  ,  as  garrus  nears  the  bed  and  watches  her  try  to  sit  up  .  he  releases  a  distressed  warble  ,  arms  out  to  try  and  steady  her  .  thankfully  she  just  groans  and  sits  back  .  when  she  motions  to  the  chair  beside  the  bed  ,  garrus  nods  and  obediently  takes  the  offered  seat  .  anything  to  keep  her  from  getting  up  ,  hurting  herself  ,  sending  the  nurses  in  here  ,  running  …

her  remarks  easily  draw  muted  laughter  from  him  ,  mandibles  flaring  widely  as  his  expression  of  a  smile  .  garrus  ducks  his  head  momentarily  and  lets  the  laughter  turn  into  a  cough                                                 he  looks  back  up  at  her  .  ashley’s  tone  changes  ,  evolves  into  the  heavier  things  .  SPIRITS  .  ❝  and  here  i  was  hoping  to  pretend  everything  was  right  with  the  world  for  just  a  while  longer  .  ❞  this  time  ,  the  turian’s  laugh  is  insincere  .  ❝  i  haven’t  heard  from  my  family  since  the  reapers  arrived  on  palaven  .  hoping  they  made  it  out  ,  or  at  least  hoping  they  stuck  it  out  until  now  ,  and  can  get  off-planet  as  soon  as  possible  .  I  DON’T  KNOW  .  ❞  a  pause  .  he  evades  her  final  question  and  switches  gears  .  ❝  what  about  your  family  ?  have  you  heard  from  them  ?  ❞  garrus  tentatively  sets  a  hand  on  the  edge  of  her  bed  .  ❝  despite  the  hiccup  with  the  cerberus  superbot  ,  i’m  glad  you’re  here  .  off-earth  .  safe  ,  for  now  .  ❞  blindingly  sincere  .  the  turian  coughs  to  try  and  break  his  own  painful  tension  ,  worried  perhaps  she’s  lost  interest  .  perhaps  she’s  not  ready  to  continue  what  they  had  .

THE SPACE BETWEEN THEM     ^{seems impossibly wide and held closed all at once :    in the wake of violence ,    she is all knife ,   all blade ,   lashing out with a cutting edge in the low light     —    but he draws the warmth of her like a moth to a flame ,  without even trying ,   and she almost gives in to the impulse to pull his frame into her arms ,    press her forehead to his like they are something more than what she fears they aren’t .   this shaky uncertainty of his own feelings toward holds her body in place ,   and yet    …     ignoring the pulse of her wounds ,   she leans forward .    a forearm braces itself on the supports beside the bed ,    bringing her eye level with the shape of his jaw ,   the details of his eyes .    the proximity distracts her for a moment ,   the sudden urge to relearn each crater and curve of his features splicing her thoughts in two ,    before she remembers that there is no guarantee that he is hers any longer .   realigning her gaze to his ,   ashley gives him a smile ,   and her voice soft as it will go .        ❝        it’s going to be okay ,    garrus .        ❞        neither of them have ever been one for false optimism ,    and she a self - proclaimed realist with a jaded mouth and a sharp eye ,    but this is hardly the time for a lecture about their odds .    certainly not about his family’s .     she won’t press him further ,   not for this ,    laden all with pain and confusion and fears .}

^{her exhale stutters out in a wheeze ,    rioting against this new angle she’s forced herself into ,    aching through the bruises around her sides .   one .    two .    three .    even ,   calm breaths to compensate .    a few seconds pass before she speaks again ,    her face shading into something like relief .         ❝        i haven’t gotten any updates in here ,   but as far as i know they all made it to the citadel safe .    thank god .   i’m still worried ,   y’know ?    just this bad feeling    …     like waiting for the inevitable ?    i hate it .     but at least they’re not on earth anymore .        ❞            on impulse ,     she reaches for the hand he’s rested on the bed ,   putting forefinger to middle ,   ring finger to pinky ,    taking his hand in her own and squeezing ,   gently .          ❝         and don’t take this the wrong way ,    but    —    i’m really glad you’re not on palaven anymore .   when the reapers hit ,    i –           ❞}

^{it’s a special kind of torture ,    isolated ,   without information ,    not knowing who’s alive and who’s dead and whether or not he was safe ,   and   —    there’s no point putting this off .    no such thing as a guaranteed tomorrow ,   anymore .    she looks down ,   away ,    as if this conversation will be easier without the weight of his eyes on hers .          ❝          i was worried about you .    look ,    i know there’s a lot to talk about .            ❞          horizon .    cerberus .    the omega - 4 relay .        ❝          and maybe this isn’t the best time ,    but    —     before i look like a total idiot ,    i wanted to know if you still felt the same ,   about us .   me .         ❞}