GARRUS VAKARIAN .     turianrebel‌

the  very  first  time  the  normandy  docks  on  the  citadel  ,  settles  its  weary  metal  bones  in  bay  d24  ,  garrus  is  off  like  a  rocket  ,  scrambling  around  throngs  of  refugees  in  order  to  reach  a  cab  ,  a  shuttle               ANYTHING  .  this  isn’t  something  that  can  wait  .  this  isn’t  like  last  time  ,  where  the  distance  was  painful  ,  but  manageable  ;  this  isn’t  like  the  brief  skirmish  on  horizon  ,  the  sight  of  her  there  among  collector  remains  and  a  smoking  sky  .  this  is  far  from  something  garrus  vakarian  can  handle  ,  or  could  ever  handle  .  this  is  raw  .  the  news  had  choked  him  .  on  the  shuttle  from  menae  ,  he’d  offhandedly  asked  about  ashley  .  ash  ?  she’s  at  huerta  .  we  don’t  know  if  she’s  going  to  make  it  .  and  garrus  ,  in  all  his  fear  and  fright  for  her  ,  couldn’t  let  out  his  sounds  ,  his  strangled  ,  painful  sadness  .  because  of  their  secrecy  ,  because  they’d  never  decided  to  welcome  the  rest  of  the  crew  into  knowing  ,  he’s  held  it  in  .  at  huerta  ,  he  doesn’t  have  to  .

of  course  he  ,  in  all  his  bulk  and  wear  ,  holds  himself  better  than  expected  upon  entering  her  room  .  an  asari  nurse  tries  to  grab  his  arm  ;  if  he  were  in  a  more  agitated  state  ,  he’d  have  fought  that  resistance  .  but  ashley  ,  bruised  and  beaten  ,  face  a  constellation  of  purple  and  black  ,  promises  his  good  intentions  .  he’s  a  friend  .  they  let  him  go  ,  and  the  door  hisses  shut  behind  him  .

❝  ash  .  ❞  mandibles  flare  in  his  visible  concern  ;  he  drags  his  eyes  across  her  frame  and  finds  relief  in  knowing  she’s  intact  .  ❝  shepard  said  you  were  here  ,  said  they  didn’t  know  if  …   ❞  the  turian  trails  off  ,  and  briefly  he  dips  his  head  .  the  awkwardness  ,  the  shyness  ,  has  returned  .  ❝  they  just  picked  me  up  from  palaven                     battle’s  bad  there  .  are  you  all  right  ?  ❞  a  timid  step  forward  ,  wanting  to  come  closer  ,  but  fearing  anger  if  he  does  .  ❝  they  didn’t  give  me  all  the  details  ;  just  enough  to  know  you  were  in  a  sorry  state  .  ❞  a  pause  ,  and  garrus  attempts  soft  humor  to  try  and  make  her  laugh  .  ❝  let’s  hope  you  heal  sooner  than  later                 the  normandy’s  missing  its  second  best  shot  .  ❞

THE PRESENCE OF HIM     flushes against her like a comforting weight ,   like what was missing is set back into place .    now that he’s back in arms reach ,    it becomes strikingly clear how the loss of him was a phantom pain ,    pulsing in the space between her lungs .     his absence ached ,   knife - sharp .    in contrast ,    the sight of him sits warmly in the expanse of her chest .    despite everything ,    a thread of happiness draws through her .   he’s alive and here and okay ,    and that’s all that matters for now .  

watching him ,    her heart aches     —     was he worried ?    guilt settles firmly ,   but a selfish ,   almost greedy part of her is glad to know he cares enough to come here himself . 

so much lays unsaid and unknown between them   –   all new scars ,    all new histories ,    held loosely together by contact maintained over long distances ,   but the careful set of her jaw softens against the sound of her name .    slowly ,    ashley pushes herself into a sitting position ,    and pain bolts down the length of her spine .   only just barely ,   she catches a groan between her teeth ,   mouth twisting closed to compensate .    if she could ,   she would stand .        ❝         uh ,     sit down .        ❞        with an eager hand ,    she beckons him into the chairs     —     uncomfortable ,   plastic ,    she pities his back     —-      next to the bed .     she wants to ease this ,    the strange awkwardness that sits between them now .   a self - deprecating laugh pushes through the throbbing of her side ,    and she ducks her head .      it’s all she can do to pull that williams’ stubbornness around herself like a cloak ,   shaken only by the fissure of her own nerves .            ❝           …        yeah ,    it only took a cerberus superbot weaponizing a shuttle to take me down .     i mean ,    it’s not a rocket ,   but hey ,    i’m doing my best .        ❞         scoffing at his jab ,    a smile blooms wide to soften the blow of her teasing .            ❝          —-     and i’ve picked up some new tricks since you last saw me ,    hot shot .     if you wanna have a measuring contest ,    i’m game .          ❞          and she waits for a laugh ,    a crack of a turian smile ,    anything .    

she reaches out her hand .     it hovers in the air ,   not closing the distance ,     but offering what little comfort she can give ,     if he wants it .     they just picked me up from palaven .     god .          ❝        listen     …     don’t worry about me .    i’ll be out of here in no time      —-      but ,    garrus ,    i’m so sorry .    i was on earth when the reapers hit     …     and it ,    it was horrible .    is your family     …          ❞           he has a sister ,    she remembers ,    and a sick mother ,    and a hard - ass dad ,    and her words trail off with a quiet fear for the worst .        ❝         are you doing okay ?          ❞